How to Help Your Parents With Their Computer From Another City

Everyone who is good with computers knows the call. "The printer does not work." "The screen has gone strange." "The email has disappeared." You try to guide your mother through it on the phone, you say "click the blue thing", she asks which blue thing, and twenty minutes later you are both tired. There is a better way: look at her screen yourself.

Why phone instructions fail

Describing a screen you cannot see is hard. Words like "top left", "menu" and "icon" mean different things to different people. Windows and phones also change between versions, so what you remember from your own computer may not match theirs. Each wrong click costs patience on both sides. Seeing the screen removes the guessing and turns a half-hour call into a five-minute fix.

What you need

• A computer or phone for you, with PeerFlow installed or open.
• Your parent's computer, with the PeerFlow desktop app. For controlling the screen, the person at the computer must be using the Windows app, and the app asks them to allow control.
• A phone, so you can talk while you work.

Step by step

1. Ask them to open PeerFlow and choose Share this device. A short code appears, such as K7Q2-M9XA.
2. Ask them to read the code to you. A phone call is perfect for this.
3. Open PeerFlow, choose Remote access, and enter the code. You see their screen.
4. Ask them to allow control if you need to click and type. They choose what you may do.
5. Fix the problem together. Explain what you are doing as you go, so they learn.
6. When you are done, ask them to stop sharing. The session ends and the code stops working.

See the page about remote desktop for the full picture.

Make it easy for them

Write the first two steps on a card and stick it next to their computer: "Open PeerFlow. Press Share this device. Read the code to your child." Keep the instructions to a minimum. Install the Windows app for them on your next visit, and put its icon on the desktop. Once the app is in place, remote help is a one-minute job.

Be patient and be safe

• Narrate what you are doing. It is reassuring and educational.
• Avoid opening their private files. You are there for the problem, nothing else.
• Tell them about scams. Teach them that nobody from a bank, a tech company or the government will ever ask for a remote-access code by phone. Only share a code with a person you called yourself or know well.
• Let them stop it. The badge on their screen shows that someone is connected, with buttons to stop control or end the session.

Common fixes you can do in minutes

Set up a safer computer for them

While you are connected, spend a few minutes on prevention: turn on automatic updates, add a trusted password manager, set a larger text size, and show them how to tell a real message from a fake one. A little work now prevents many future calls. For more on staying safe, read is remote desktop safe?.

When your parent has only a phone

A phone or tablet can show you its screen, but whether you can also control it depends on the Android app build and on the permissions the person gives. For simple help, ask them to share their screen with you in a call or a meeting and talk them through, or use screen sharing. Download the Android and Windows apps to set things up before the next call comes in.