Private Messaging Without Giving Out Your Phone Number
Your phone number is tied to your bank, your identity and your address book. Here is why many people prefer to chat without handing it out, and how to do it.
Most messaging apps ask for your phone number the moment you install them. It seems harmless: it is how the app finds your friends. But a phone number is one of the most sensitive pieces of information you own. It is tied to your bank, your identity, your location and, through your contact list, to dozens of other people. Handing it to every new app, and every new acquaintance, is a habit worth questioning.
Why a phone number is a poor username
- It is permanent. You change email addresses and usernames easily. A phone number stays with you for years, and so does the trail attached to it.
- It is linked to real identity. Banks, delivery companies and government services all know it. Anyone who has it can look you up in many places.
- It invites unwanted contact. Once someone has your number, they can call, text and find you on other apps.
- It exposes your contacts. Apps that read your address book to find friends upload other people's numbers too, without their consent.
What PeerFlow does instead
In PeerFlow you sign in with an email address. To add someone, you type their email or their @username. If they accept, they appear in your chats. There is no phone number, no reading of your address book, and no contact upload. You choose who you connect with, one person at a time.
How to add a contact
- Open Chats and choose Add a contact.
- Type their email address or @username.
- They receive the request and accept it.
- Start chatting. Messages are end-to-end encrypted.
You can share your @username openly, for example on a business card, because it reveals nothing else about you. Your email stays private unless you give it to someone.
Choosing a username
Choose something memorable that does not reveal more than you want: a nickname, not your full name and birth year. You can change your display name and username in your profile settings, and add a short line about yourself. People who only know your username know very little about you, which is the point.
Privacy is more than the number
Not using a phone number is one layer. Others matter as well:
- End-to-end encryption, so nobody except you and the recipient can read the messages. Read end-to-end encrypted chat explained.
- Direct delivery, so messages go straight between devices whenever both are online.
- Short-lived server storage, so a message that has to wait stays encrypted and is deleted once delivered. See how offline messages work.
- Control over your history, which is encrypted on your own device.
When a phone number is still useful
Some situations need a number: a bank's verification text, a delivery driver, a family member who only uses text messages. Keep your number for those and use a username-based app for everything else. Many people find that moving their private chats away from a number reduces unwanted contact immediately.
Comparing sign-up methods
| Phone number | Email address | Username | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Easy to change | No | Yes | Yes |
| Reveals your identity | Often | Sometimes | Rarely |
| Needed to find friends | Often | For sign-in | For adding contacts |
| Reads your address book | Often | No | No |
| Shared publicly | Rarely wise | Rarely wise | Fine |
Practical advice
Use a separate email address for private chats if you want a clean separation from your work or banking email. Share your username only with people you want to hear from. And review your contact list from time to time: remove people you no longer talk to.
For small teams and businesses
A business can use usernames to talk with customers without exposing anyone's personal number. See the article on communication for small businesses. For group chats, read private group chat for small teams.
Getting started
Install the Android or Windows app, sign in with your email, choose a username and add your first contact.
Frequently asked questions
Do I need a phone number to use PeerFlow chat?
No. You sign in with an email address, and people can add you by your email or your @username.
Why does my email address have to be used at all?
It is used to sign in and to send you one-time codes. It is not shown to people unless you share it.
Can people find me by my number?
No. PeerFlow does not use phone numbers to match contacts, so it does not read your address book.
Are the messages private?
Yes. Messages are end-to-end encrypted, and they go directly between devices when both people are online.